Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
