Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
