Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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