yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
