He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
