She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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