Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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