weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
