I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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