I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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