I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
