this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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