I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize