so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
