I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
