Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
