either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
