The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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