Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
