So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize