Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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