There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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