He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
