is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
