I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
