This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize