IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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