great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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