she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
