I want to have your abortion
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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