that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize