By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
