Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
