I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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