we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize