how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
