my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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