i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
