Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
