He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
