What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize