It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
