Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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