I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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