do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
