Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
