Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I need to calm my uterus...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
