She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize