I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
