all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
