Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
