The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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