just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
