I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize