Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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