They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
