She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
