That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
