I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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