You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
